Well, I finally decided to get back on the diet that helped me lose 99.6 lbs back in 2009.
Back then I gave up on myself and gained it all back in less than a year.
I know what you’re thinking: WHAT HAPPENED!? I’ve spent the last 5-ish years thinking about that. A lot happened. But here’s the thing: none of it matters now. Not a single thing that happened then has to keep me from losing the weight again now.
Take Shape for Life works. I was able to follow the plan for 9 months without even thinking about cheating. I can’t even express how good I was feeling, how healthy and energetic. The food is great and there are lots of sweet choices, including a slew of yummy chocolate options. And if I had stuck with it, and followed the simple transition plan, I would most likely still be thin.
But I am a self-sabotaging emotional eater. So when things started going downhill in my life, I started to have what AA members know as “stinkin thinkin” – letting those negative thoughts and emotions take control. That whole, “screw it, what’s the point” attitude that can make you lose your mind completely. I went there. And I stayed there for a long time.
Part of me has always believed that I don’t deserve “the good things in life” (whatever those are). There’s a little voice in the back of my brain that reminds me that I’m just a welfare brat who used food stamps to buy penny candy so there would be change to buy her mother’s cigarettes. That’s a whole other long sad sob story I won’t get into right now. Suffice it to say I have some pretty negative self talk going on most of the time. Until recently (which is also a story I’m not telling right now).
Over the last 5 years, my thoughts on losing weight have gravitated toward that of failure. Yes, I can lose weight. I’ve done it a number of times over my lifetime. Hell, I can vary more than 5 lbs in a single day up or down. But I always gain it back and then some. And that pattern, that mindset, made me think of myself as a failure.
But in the last couple of weeks I’ve come to realize something else: I’ve learned things from each of those experiences. I can apply them to moving forward. I know what to look out for. All I had to do was look back to see where I went wrong. After all, hindsight really is 20/20.
And yes, I may fail again. And I’ll learn something else about myself. And I’ll pick myself up and try again. And I won’t wait 5 years this time.
I’ve come a long way from that little girl. And she does deserve better. We all do.
If you’re interested in the diet I’m on, please contact my free health coach, Laurie Fields: http://getfitadventure.tsfl.com/
Tell her I sent you!