I came across this old document the other day and decided to post it here. It was written in 1999, just before the turn of the 21st century. It is every bit as true today! Maybe more so.
We hold ourselves to be, above all, blameless in every thing. We shall not be held accountable for any action by ourselves or any other persons for any reason. We are not responsible for our children, our parents, our spouses, our friends or our selves.
If any action is taken against us, we reserve the right to respond with violence upon the other person or organization. We shall perform any act of violence we deem necessary to teach the appropriate person or people the lesson they deserve, up to and including death, dismemberment, rape or vandalism. By “any action” we include any inappropriate word, deed or look directed toward us. It is also implied that the way you look, speak or dress may be interpreted as an action against us. If you are beautiful, intelligent, wealthy or different, you are further offending us and will be treated with contempt and violence upon your person.
Nothing that we say or do can be held against us. If we say or do anything inappropriate it is clearly due to some childhood trauma inflicted upon us by our parents or peers, or some other organization such as school or the government. In any such cases we shall be deemed mentally incompetent and unaccountable for our own actions. Further, when we commit any offense against another we shall be diagnosed with some mental illness, cared for in a psychiatric facility, and given funds from disability assistance.
We shall not be required to hold employment. We are entitled to be taken care of financially by either our parents or the government for the entirety of our lives as we did not request to be brought into this world. If we choose to hold employment, it should be given to us without regard to ability or skills to perform the tasks required and at a pay rate which will enable us to live at the level of comfort to which our parents made us accustomed. If we have not obtained the skills required to maintain employment, it is not due to any lack of effort on our part (even if we did not exert any effort) but responsibility must be placed upon our teachers and parents.
If our behavior is deemed inappropriate in some way it is due to the fact that we have been exposed to an excess of violence from television, movies, video games, our peers and our music. Other possible sources of our discontented behavior include verbal, physical or sexual abuse, real or imagined, by our parents or other adults in our lives.
If we procreate unwanted offspring, we shall abandon, murder or abuse them in any way we deem necessary to placate ourselves. We shall not tolerate any noise or demands from said offspring in any circumstances. If we choose to feed, clothe or bathe said offspring, it will be at our own convenience and shall not be dictated to us by said offspring or their needs. Any defect or other imperfection of said offspring shall be deemed just cause for immediate abandonment or abuse. In no case shall we be held financially or emotionally responsible for said offspring.
We shall not marry or otherwise emotionally attach ourselves to any other human. We shall demand the emotional attachment of others only to the point that they will succumb to our wishes. Any person who does not meet our desires shall be immediately discarded and replaced.
We shall demand perfection of others and expect forgiveness for our own imperfections. In all things our own selves will come first and all others will be accommodated only if it is to our own convenience. These are our rights and shall not be denied.
Barbara J Verzola © 1999